


i’m not someone you want to be like (rewritten)

by bluedevil18



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, rewritten though, still based off that one scene from Spiderman:Homecoming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2019-02-02 14:35:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12728469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluedevil18/pseuds/bluedevil18
Summary: And for a brief moment, he can’t help the image of Steve behind the boy telling him the same.“Big man in a suit of armour. Take that off, what are you?”Of course, he had been sarcastic in his reply.“Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.”But that was to only hide the pain.





	i’m not someone you want to be like (rewritten)

It’s late, Tony’s aware of this. Even the janitors have gone home. One of them had stayed longer than they usually do, a lovely girl - Maria, he thinks her name was. She was stalling her time, sweeping as slowly as she could, until Tony had turned to her and gave her a tired smile, told her to go home, and when she protested, assured her he would be fine. She gave in, a smile gentle on her lips as she waved at him and made her way out of the office that he doesn’t even use, leaving the billionaire alone.

He’ll be fine, though; he’s had plenty of sleepless nights filled with nothing but his own despair, nobody else there to fill the void, and his vision’s blurry from lack of sleep as he stares in vain down at the paperwork that he’s only a quarter way through.

His mind’s fuzzy, but it’s been like that for a while now; A few days actually, maybe even weeks, and he rubs at tired and strained eyes, heaving out a sigh, shoulders sagging.

He wants Pepper so badly right now.

A soft smile tugs at his lips at the thought of the woman he’s grown so fond of, before it’s replaced by a frown once more, and he rubs at his forehead, a not uncommon headache forming, throbbing dully behind his eyes.

How’d he get here? Sitting in this office, one he doesn’t know why he’s in, because he doesn’t even use it anymore, doing paperwork that once upon a time, Pepper did for him, because he was young and so naive, not really knowing what he had going for himself.

He was so young, left with a company by his father, one who never even told him he loved him, who was cold and calculating, one who built him up like this, like carbon steel, a dam fighting against the waves.

Tony knew he was smart, what other four year old was building their first circuit board? What six year old was building a motorbike engine, and going to MIT at fifteen and -

And yet, he had no clue what he was doing when he was put in charge of the entire company at the age of twenty-one.

But of course, Obadiah was there, helping him along, encouraging him, telling him things like “you’re doing wonderfully,” and nodding along to whatever he was doing.

He trusted him, because his father trusted him, yes - but he trusted him with everything because he was there for the entire ride. Obadiah was someone he could count on, go to him whenever he needed.

He was there when he was finally rescued from Afghanistan -

But that’s just it, isn’t it? He wouldn’t have even needed rescuing if it wasn’t for Obadiah.

He was the one who betrayed him, who hurt him beyond physical wounds, and even physical repair.

Leaving him on that floor in his basement, with that hole in his chest as he smiled at him, but he knew - he knew that in that moment, his trust that he had put in the older man, was backfiring on him.

But it doesn’t stop there, the pain keeps going, doesn’t it?

_“I was trying to be like you!”_

_His eyes widen before they dull and he opens his mouth to speak._

_“I want you to be better.”_

_Peter’s face is a mixture of sadness and guilt, the same face he himself has made several times and he hates that he’s seeing it on such a young face; his heart hurts and singes with pain and he can’t look anymore, so he turns his gaze to the ground to recollect himself before he looks back up, but Peter is turning away from him and guilt is hidden from Tony. He doesn’t want to, but the words are out of his mouth before he can stop them._

_“I’m gunna need the suit back.”_

_The young hero’s head snaps back towards him and he’s protesting weakly._

He doesn’t know exactly how, but he’s suddenly staring down at the mask of Spider-Man, clenching the material in his hand.

_“But I’m nothing without this suit!”_

_And for a brief moment, he can’t help the image of Steve behind the boy telling him the same._

_“Big man in a suit of armour. Take that off, what are you?”_

_Of course, he had been sarcastic in his reply._

_“Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.”_

_But that was to only hide the pain._

Steve comes to mind again, and he remembers the Raft, and his jaw sets firmly as he thinks about lying on that ground in the dark prison, arc reactor a diminishing glow as he stares numbly at the gash right in the middle of blue.

Blinking back unshed tears, his eyes burn but he refuses to cry, and vaguely he wonders just how much he’s held back over the years.

Clenching the mask that belongs to Spider-Man, that belongs to Peter, he closes his eyes and remembers the words Peter said to him -

He tosses the mask into an open drawer and hunching back over unfinished paperwork, as unshed tears threaten to bubble over, but he just blinks them away again and picks up his pen and one last sentence spills from his lips before he falls quiet again and works himself until the sun rises and blinds him momentarily.

“..I’m not someone you want to be like.”


End file.
